Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: I am getting married in July. My mother has done 2 marriages. She is separated and divorced from her first husband long time ago. I was born from her 2nd husband. Not keeping any difference, she and my real biological father kept the name of her first husband as my fathers name.

All my life, my education, identity card everything is made on his name. In my nikaah, my wali agreed to be there but in the nikaah nama (cerficate) the name of my stepfather would come and not my real father. Would my nikaah be valid?

Q: Allah created both men and women differently such that a woman does not naturally feel to have more than one spouse at a time.

1. My question is that if it was in the nature of a male to have more than one wife as created by Allah then why are there naturally the feelings of jealousy or insecurities and intolerance that a woman feels about it? My mind and heart both know that Allahs plans are the best and I blindly trust in them but then why I feel annoyed and really bad about the fact of sharing my husband with someone else. I even feel annoyed when my husband teases me about angels of Jannat? Why has Allah put this feeling in us knowing the natural tendency of males? 

2. Though I know that there is nothing wrong in having more than one wife but I still feel uncomfortable and jealous about this fact. I would never be able to stand the fact of my husband marrying someone else. Does that mean that I am not a good believer as my husband constantly keeps saying that if I cannot tolerate the fact of my husband having another wife (suppose) then I am not a good muslimah. Is that so?

Q: Can I marry a girl who has been breastfed by my mother only once, she is 6 years younger than me.

Q: During childhood a woman committed sins. The sin was that the woman, who, in her childhood was a girl, rubbed her private parts on another girls private parts. The woman doesnt think she had underwear on when this happened but the other girl had underwear on. This sin happened either when she was 12 or under the age of 12. It happened before the age of puberty as she got her periods when she was 14. As she matured she realised that was a homosexual act and it was wrong.

The woman is married to a a good man, who has never done such sins in his past. and the woman has recently been getting doubts upon repentence. She read somewhere that if one doesn't repent for such sins or sexual sins before marriage then marriage to a person who has not done such sins in the past or marriage to a chaste person is haraam and not valid.

Was the marriage valid from the start? Was it haram to marry such a person who has committed such sins in the past when the other hasn't?

Q:

1. Is the khutbah mandatory for nikaah

2. Can any one do his nikaah by himself

Q: How do you share food for your wives when one's children are more than the others. For example, if the first wife has 4 children and the second wife has 8 children and the third has 6 children; is sharing the same quantity for them justice?

Q:

1. What is the private part of a female that by looking at it hurmat can take place?

2. If a woman is wearing full clothes in a picture or in real life and someone unintentionally looks at her chest and lowers his gaze, and her cleavage is slightly shown, like a very small part of her cleavage, just few milimeters. Does this form part of a females body where hurmat can take place? Even if the person has no lust for her?

3. If a person has shaken hands with an old lady and he is 100 percent sure that there was no desire or lust at that time but he is having waswasa. Should he pay attention or disregard this thought?

Q: Is pornography a Dajjaal system?

Q: If a person has a stomach issue, when he eats spicy or high calories foods, he gets some white drops coming out from his penis in a normal state without any errection or lust. Now if he shakes hands with an old woman without any lust or erection, will this be hurmat?

Please note that there is no lust or erection for this old lady. The person has a stomach heat problem because of which he gets these drops when he eats spicy food.