Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: I have two questions and seeking answers in the light of Islam:

1. I am already married and I did second marriage abroad without the knowledge of my first wife. My mother knew that I will be going for second marriage. I did my second marriage according to shari’a in the presence of wali, two witnesses and guests including my second wifes family, friends and neighbours. My second wife has three children from her previous marriage and her marriage was invalid because her ex was a Christian convert but along the way he became murtid (actually he didn’t become Muslim by heart at all and my second wife knew that) conditions forced her to go for divorce and it was granted by shari’a court. After just a few days after my marriage my first wife found out and I returned to my home country. Naturally there was hue and cry and me being told that my second marriage is invalid because I didn’t take permission then saying its invalid because I cant give equal rights. I would like to clear this that my second wife knew that it would be difficult for me to come often but as for financial rights I can do that regularly. Now my second wife is being burdened by her conscience that she is the cause of hurt and anguish and telling me to leave her. I have been handling the situation here in my home country and now I have to face the pressure from my second wife. One thing is a fact that I will not divorce anyone. I always prayed to Allah that if he blesses me with second marriage then make me able to do justice in the best of my ability. Im telling both of them to relax and let Allah show the way. But they are not letting my brain relax. Is my second marriage valid and how to sooth this situation?

2. My second wife is having dreams which she thinks means that I should divorce her, while I'm telling her that divorce itself is an act with which Allah is not pleased with and these dreams are from shaitan. I would like to quote a few dreams which she told me”

a. In the first dream she saw her, my wife and another girl in bed with me and she was telling the other girl how to serve me.

b. In the second dream she saw me with my first wife and she herself was standing on the edge of an island and we were looking at each other and then she walked away. She thinks these are indications that I should divorce her. I would like to emphasize that my second wife has had a troubled and being ignored history since her teens, even ignored and turned out from home by her father when he remarried after his first wife died. I will not continue with her previous life, just like to mention that it has left scars on her emotionally. Im awaiting guidance.

Q: I am a 19 year old female and would like to know

1. What is the right age for a Muslim women to make nikah?

2. According to the sunnah how should a woman find a spouse?

3. Why do the Ulamaa say its best for a pregnant woman to read Surah Maryam and Surah Yusuf during her pregnancy?

4. What are the benefit of reading those surahs?

5. Are there any ahadith saying that married women should live/stay with their in laws?

Q: I am a woman. I have received a marriage proposal from my maternal cousin for his son. My query comes here as I have never considered him with any other feelings except as a son/nephew as he born to my cousins sister. And now my doubt is as I have felt him as my nephew/son, is it permissible for me to marry him? Will my marriage with him be accepted by Allah? Earlier I have considered him as something else, and now I am entering into Nikah with him.

Q: Can a person marry her foster mother's daughter's of daughter?

Q: What is the duration for a husband and wife to be separated from each other? What if that limit is exceeded?

Q: I need help and assistant with something and is very serious. I am a sunni girl and want to marry a man who is a shia. We want to get married so we can start our future together but unfortunately due to him being a shia my parents are not agreeing. I have known this man for a long time and know that he is very kind hearted person and loves me for who I am and wouldnt ever change me. My father says that it is really bad and that I will be jumping into hell if I marry him and will take my parents to hell too. Making me feel like a bad person! I want to marry this person and he believes in Allah (swt), our Prophets, and the Quran so how can he not be a Muslim?! And also he doesnt curse the Sahabahs. And yes I know there are differences but they are opinions and other arguments between sunnis and shias and are politicial rather than religious. Also there are stuff that we both spoke about after we marry for example our kids and cleared all that but my dad is still being stubborn and feels that they feel change me into shia (which I know he wouldn't!) and also that he has read stuff that shows shias are just kafirs basically. He isnt even agreeing to meet him and im stuck because i cant leave either, my family or him! if i was to leave home what would happen then, would i get gunah for marrying a shia man?

Q: Is it permissible for a person to use a range of sexual lubricants that cause sensation such as a warming and tingling sensation?

Q: I gave divorced to my wife after four months of nikah without consummating the nikaah? How much mahr should be paid to her?

Q: Why doesn't Islam forbid marriage during early teens after puberty (like 14,15) as it increases various risks (like death of mother)?

Q: Allah Ta'ala has given me a 2 bedroom house. My husband desired another female. I am 7 months pregnant. I gave her the other bedroom. Do I have to share my room with her? Because my husband wants to sleep (no sexual activity) in the same bed. He believes I am wrong because I want my own room in my house.