Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Choosing not to get married

Q: I am young. I am physically and sexually fit. I do my hard exercises on a daily basis. I have a job and I earn (halaal). I try to give most of my time in worship. Now, the matter is that I don't want to marry, I just want to live my life as single till death. What should I do?

Returning one's dowry after getting married

Q: Alhamdulillah, twelve years back, I got married. At the time of marriage my intention was not to take any jahez (dowry) but one of my parents asked for basic materials like bed, furniture, house hold items (not big items). My intention is now to return the amount spent on those items to my father-in-law. 

My question is: Can I give my father-in-law the suitable amount? Shall I ask my parents about this? Or is it not required because the above items will be the milkiyat (owner) of my wife?

Marrying an adopted girl

Q: My question is regarding marrying a girl that has been adopted at the age of 5 days but the girl doesn't know about her real father. All the documents supporting her parentage is of her adopted father. So please let me know what Shariah says about marrying her?

Educating children regarding "adult material"

Q: In some cultures, nowadays, parents tend to hide or cover a hadith or some Islamic knowledge from their children. They say that it’s something you’ll need to know when you grow up – as in when you get married. Should children – after puberty, at least – not have full knowledge about Islam before marriage? For example, there are ahaadith relating to zina. There’s knowledge about sexual intercourse, about pregnancy, about masturbation, etc. which most children do not know about; unless they’re very curious and tend to look up themselves, which causes further sins, i.e pornography.

Children would not know that masturbation is haraam unless it’s told to them. Masturbation is so common during youth, and children are not aware of the fact that it’s haraam, or if you did it, you have to do ghusl prior to praying. Should a woman/man tell their children about sexual intercourse right before the day of marriage, as this would cause fear in the heart of a young girl just before marriage? I heard a father telling their daughters about this hadith but only up till كَذَا وَكَذَا i.e. he left out the last 2 words, كُلُّ عَيْنٍ زَانِيَةٌ وَالْمَرْأَةُ إِذَا اسْتَعْطَرَتْ فَمَرَّتْ بِالْمَجْلِسِ فَهِيَ كَذَا وَكَذَا يَعْنِي زَانِيَةً Was this right of him to do so?

Also, women don’t allow their children to read full Islamic books, written by great people, like Bahishti Zewar written by Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullahi 'alaihi). They just let them read what they think is important for the “kids” to know, and leave out the “adult” chapters, even in the daily Ta’leem. Parents are oblivious of the fact that children are aware of everything they are aware of. Since nowadays, kids learn everything from their Biology textbooks and that, too, in detail—Isn’t it better that parents give them that knowledge by letting them read Islamic books, or by informing them of various sins i.e. as in what’s adultery, etc.?

Fantasizing of someone while masturbating

Q: Please guide me. I am very distressed. A long time ago about 9 years in 2010 when I was about 23 years old and didn’t know about hurmmat e musaherah. One evening I was masturbating and accidently imagined my uncle's wife (chachi). After two three days they came to our home from village as in our society when I saw them coming from village as a guest I became forward and shook hands with my uncle's wife. As the incident of masturbation occurred a day before, there was a thought in my mind that I masturbated with this (chachi) although I am not sure whether there was a lust or erection or desire or casual hand shake. I didn’t know exactly what happened as it was a long time ago. Now I love my cousin my uncle's daughter very much and want to marry her but there I have a waswasa whether I can marry her or not? I love my cousin. Please guide me, can I make nikaah with her or not?