Ramadhaan & Fasting

Q: Regarding kissing the wife during Ramadhan fast. I knew that it was permissibile to kiss the wife as long as it does not lead to anything further. Only recently did I become aware that only kissing without the tongue was meant as kissing with the tongue would require qadha and kafaarah due to the exchange of saliva. As kissing with the tongue is the norm I had not made that distinction till now. Am I required to perfrom qadha and kafaarah or just qadha due to misunderstanding as I see in nurul idha that kafaarah will not be required if someone misunderstood the hadith?

Q: I was fasting one day in Ramadan and I didn't know that if one gargles and water goes down one's throat then the fast is invalid. So one day I was performing ghusl and I gargled 3 times and I may have accidentally swallowed some water. Is my fast invalid?

Q: In Ramadhan, if I perform ghusl e janaabat before zohar prayers and not before the fajar prayers, is my fast valid in this case?

Q: My friend came to my house during Ramadhan. He was not fasting due to some illness. Should I offer him food or not because it was Ramadhan?

Q: I understand that one is allowed to change his clothes during Itikaf. In the Haram Shareef at Makkah and Madinah since there is no privacy, is it ok if one changes his clothes in the toilet when one goes to attend nature's call? Of course care is taken that one does not leave the Haram only for changing the clothes but does it when it is unavoidable to leave to fulfil the need to go to the toilet to relieve oneself.

Q: 

1. If a woman keeps nafal fast and she gets her menses, does her fast break?
2. Can she eat or does she have to continue her fast to get reward?
3. Secondly if her fast is broken is there any qaza of  the nafal fast?
4. If she does not keep qaza, will she be sinful or not?

Q: Is it permissible to use spray deodorants (alcohol free) while fasting? 

Q: How many days we have to keep fast in shabaan? How many and which days are sunnah?

Q: I'd like to know if it would be within the shariah if I take the contraceptive pill to complete a month of fasting. I would also like to know if I would be allowed to take the pill before leaving for hajj this year inshallah.

Q: I would be grateful if Mufti Saheb could advise me on what is best course of action with regards to my situation as follows:

Ramadhan is just around the corner. I have a 9 month old baby who is breastfeeding and two other children. The fasting days, will be very long, as I live in the UK. What should I do in this situation?

1. Should I carry on breastfeeding while I observe the fasts?
2. Or should I wean my baby off so then I may be able to fast bearing in mind that she's hardly one year old in age?
3. Or do I continue breastfeeding but do not observe fast and make up the fasting days immediately after Ramadhan?
4. Or should I teach her to drink from the bottle, drinking my milk, and observe the fasts?

Please advise accordingly.  Also, I am a Shafi'ee.