Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: I'm starting this by saying I am married (nikaah is done but I dont live with my husband yet). I didn't know that anal sex is haram and when I found out, I started avoiding it and my husband was disappointed with me. I know I did it for Allah but he doesn't want to understand me and as well as the fact. I had read online "if your husband demands for anal sex, you can go for divorce," but I spoke to my mom and she told me that you should be doing whatever your husband says and the sin is on him, so once again I had anal sex with him thinking about what my mother said. I don't know what is right.

Also, things between me and my husband are not going well at all and I had read that if the marriage is not consummated, a woman does not have to stay iddah after talaq or kul'a.

My final questions:

1. Should I avoid anal sex and let my husband be angry with me or should I let him do whatever he wants and let the sin come on him? (There will be no point in trying to explain to him that it is haraam because he never listens to me and doesn't want to listen to whatever I say)

2. Is my marriage consummated because of only anal sex? We both have never had normal sexual intercourse.

3. Should I be staying for iddah if in case I get divorced to him? 

Q: I am completely aware of the fact that Anal Intercourse is haram and a grave sin in Islam. However, would it be permissible for a husband to derive pleasure by rubbing his front organ in between the behind of his wife, ensuring that he does not penetrate the rectum?