Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Getting involved in haraam during pregnancy

Q: I m worried for a friend of mine. She is pregnant. Last week I met her. I was looking at her new mobile suddenly I saw she save some porn movies on that mobile. I was shocked. When I asked her she said O I don't know and delete that. I came home she called me next day and said that yes she watched that but now she will not watch it again. I said ok but I want to ask that this act of watching such movies can effect her unborn child? If the child is born, what kind of person he/she will be? Guide me I am very worried for her.

Acting responsibly in a marital relationship

Q: I am really concerned. I need advice before leave without telling my husband. We have had an argument last night about leaving the kids by his ex-mother in law which he considers family. Is she family to him? He does not consider my mum family. His ex-mother in law barely practices Islam. On another occasion we had an argument. He said to me he can see I grew up wild, he insulted me I don't know what a women is like and he says if there is no respect there nothing. He slept in the lounge and today we are not talking so what should I do? I was planing on leaving because he said there is nothing.

Father in-law taking away the mahr

Q: I am asking this question on behalf of my sister. She got married from two years now and alhamdulillah she is blessed with a girl baby. The problem is she was given 110 ounce of gold as maher. Her father in law is a bad person who has even tried to break their relationship for his personal intrest. In fact he has ego problem. Now he is holding the maher and says its given from my earnings not his sons. My brother in law is now trying to move from house but his father is not helping him financially though he is rich. Kindly let me know what is the status of maher in this situation. 

Having relations with one's wife on the following nights

Q: I recently have received the information below, and I wanted to enquire about its authenticity. 

The author of IHYA states:- It is Makrooh to indulge in sex during three nights of each month; the first, the last and fifteenth. It is said that Shaitaan is on the prowl on these nights. The undesirability of sex on these nights is narrated from Hazrat Ali, Hazrat Mulawiya and Hazrat Abu Huraiah (Radiyallahu-Anhum). 

The author of RIFAATUL-MUSLIMEEN states that in addition to the above; Wednesday nights and the nights of the two Eids must also be avoided. Also the night where after a person intends to go on a journey on the next day should be avoided. Intercourse on these nights may have an undesirable effect on the off-spring.

It is reported in TIBBE-NABAWI that  Rasulullah (Sallallahu-Alayhi-Wasallam) advised Hazrat Ali (Radiyallahu-Anhum) not to cohabit on the fifteenth night as the shayateen appear in large number on this night. 

In a footnote of SHAMAIL-TIRMIZI it is stated that if the child is conceived during salah times (When the salah is neglected), the result will be a disobedient child.

Marrying my cousin

Q: I am engaged to the daughter of the sister of my father. In my child hood, mother of my father used to put her breast nipple in my mouth, whenever I cried. She was old then and had no milk in her breast. What I want to ask is it halal to marry with my cousin now?

Pocket and grocery money for the wife

Q: A Molisab recently said in a bayan:

"The Islamic method of giving money to one's spouse (wife) is as follows; you should give her household shopping money so that she can buy food and other such things for the family (the husband and children). As regards to this 'shopping money' you are allowed to ask her to show you how she spent the money and she is not allowed to give sadaqa, etc from that money without your permission.

In addition to that you have to give her regular 'spending/pocket money' for her services to you as she can't go out to earn herself (as she is busy serving you and the children). As regards to this 'pocket money' after you give it to her it becomes her 'mi-lk' (possession) and therefore you can't ask her how she spent the money or who she spent it on, etc. If she wishes she can give it all to her parents and you have to right to ask or demand that she stops giving to her parents, etc.

The wife should also save up the 'pocket money' and give her zakat , go for hajj and perform other obligations with this money instead of paying zakat, etc from the husbands money "

Mufti saheb my question is - Is this statement of the Molisab correct?

Husband making demands that are not part of the duties of marriage

Q: A young girl has married over a year ago into a united family of five members comprising of her husband, his father, mother, younger brother (unmarried) and younger sister (already married). The husband’s demand over his wife is that she become part of and fully blend with his family in order to make him happy. His demand is that he will and can only be happy with her if his family is happy with her. The wife, whilst making some attempts to do so, has been having difficulty with and also occasionally unwilling to agree fully to keeping to the terms of his demand while also having to take care of a six month old baby.

Can this demand of the husband upon his wife be an acceptable and justifiable cause for his marriage to weaken or break up as he has threatened to do so on occasions?