Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: I have a question around financial obligation of a husband.

I have a property which I pay for in terms of mortgage. I also have two children whom I provide for as their father refuses to. I work full time and have a part-time income to make ends meet. Prior to marriage, I used to get tax credits that allowed me to pay my bills.

I have re-married. My husband initially paid me 1/4 of the household expenses which I thought was unfair. After numerous arguments he has increased it to 1/2 the sum. My husband earns 4 times what I earn. He is always out with his work colleagues under the pretext of a working dinner. He eats out at least twice a week. He is aware that I cannot afford the luxuries of going out with my friends as I have a low income. 

He lives in my house which I'm happy to share with him, however, when I ask him to share his money, he refuses. His argument is that he is providing for me.

Even down to the car I drive, is on its last leg... I've asked if I could share his car if I needed a more reliable car when he's not using it at which he's refused.

I'm expected to run the house as well as maintain a full time job as well as a part time job.

My situation has not improved after marriage. I'm made to feel like his maid. He pays his share towards the house, but there is no understanding or consideration towards me.

Can you please provide some guidance on this.

Q: I have 4 kids ages 21, 20, 16 and 7. I'm 43 and my husband is 51.

We found out that we are pregnant again and very scared because of health issues as well. What is the Islamic stand on abortion?

Q: When speaking of the qiwamah of a man over his wife (i.e. his “authority” over her), we need to realize that this is a burden and a responsibility, not an honour and favour. The man’s responsibility is not restricted to maintaining his wife financially, housing, feeding, etc. He is also responsible for looking after her emotional, spiritual and physical needs. Allah’s command is to treat wives kindly and on a footing of equity and what is acceptable. وعاشروهن. Al-qiwamah is in no way meant to turn the husband into some sort of dictator who thinks he is a master who orders and forbids and should be obeyed unrestrictedly. There are so many nuances to look at when we look at these issues. One such nuance is that Allah did not say that males are qawwam over women; rather, He said “men” are qawwam. This is something we need need to think about and ponder; for how many males are not really “men”.

Is this above writing correct? If I feel like for my husband's thinking attitude is harming my imaan, I often think bad of Islam that it favors men over women should I leave him?

Q: There is a Hindu girl that I like and I wish to marry her in the future (we both are 16 years old) as I don't want to have any haraam relationship with her. Is there anything I can do to inspire her to embrace Islam with her heart, mind and soul so I can marry her?

I genuinely care for her and I don't want her to go to hell because she is a very good, generous and honest girl. Please guide me in this matter. I can take things slow and cautiously with her if I can inspire her to embrace Islam.

Q: It's really a tragedy to be born in this day and age. How should one find a pious Muslim man for marriage? Muslim men are disgusting nowadays.

Is it true that women pay for the sins committed by men of their family?

Q: Is it permissible to agree not to marry a second or third wife as a condition of a nikaah with the first wife? Is there evidence from the first 3 generations of Muslims (may Allah send peace and blessings on them) of such a condition taking place?

Q: My brother is having his nikaaah at a masjid in December. He is insistent that his future wife would like all the women to attend the nikaaah at the masjid. He says that there will be separate facilities and the women will be wearing masks as a hijaab. He wants hadith or a valid reason as to why women should not attend. He also says if Nabi (sallallahi alayhi wasallam) didn't forbid it then why are certain Ulama say its not permissible while other Ulama say it is correct to attent provided there is separation. He argues that my mother should attend and keep family ties.

Could Moulana please inform me from the hadith and teachings of our Nabi what would be the correct thing to do.

He says that he will not set foot in his mother's home if she refuses to attend his function at the masjid. 

Q: During a proposal, when the girl and boy meet and they are talking, (the girl is in purdah) should the girl keep her face exposed for the whole duration of the meeting or should she cover her face after a couple of minutes?

Q: Is this right that that husbands have no right to demand their wives to carry out household chores, including cooking, cleaning, or any other domestic work?

Is this right that a mother has no obligation to nurse or breastfeed her baby? Can she demand payment to breastfeed their own child from his father?

Q: I am 60+ and a widower. My children are abroad. I want to marry a Muslim lady widow to take care of me.

Can I marry her with the following terms:

1. She will get paid an agreed amount monthly, live with me and do all my chores for an agreed period of time, say 7-10 years.

2. She will not get any share in my property after me.