Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: My husband has a very high sex drive. He wants frequent sex. Almost four times a week. Can I refuse him when I'm tired or not in the mood.

Q: Is it haraam to have sex with husband or wife while he or she is asleep?

Q: Can we use contraceptives, if yes what methods?

Q: I write to seek truth and guidance. Eight years ago at the age of 18, I met a 25 year old Muslim man and we entered into a serious relationship. Three months later I converted to Islam. We continued the relationship still, including zina. When we thought about marriage, both first marriages, we met with a sheikh to discuss an Islamic marriage, where he advised us to stay away from each other and to seek forgiveness and repentance before entering marriage. Unfortunately we did not comply, continuing sins even days before we preformed an Islamic marriage contract. Neither he nor I repented, separated, or observed a waiting period to see if pregnancy was apparent before the contract was made. Also, as a convert, I did not have a Wali when we did the marriage contract, and the actual contract states "herself", as I was my own Wali. Now we have been together since and just gave birth to our second son. I am asking to know if our marriage is valid or invalid (batil), and also the status of our two children if they are legitimate or not and can inherit from their father according to Islam. Also where do I stand from his family, including his brothers and his father, if they are or ever were relatives of mine if the marriage never existed or is invalid and are they related to our two children in any way if invalid. Please advise.

Q: My husband has some mustabah money which he earned from his job. My question is can I use that money as a loan from my husband without him knowing? I will give him back. Actually I am need of money but I cannot ask my husband because he is a very calculative man and I am sure he will never give me.

Q: I have observed in many countries that people marry and stay with their wives for a month or two and then they go to other countries for work and they come back to their wives after two or three years for a month or two and then again go back. My question is that is this the correct way of spending life with family especially wives? Is this the correct way of spending a married life according to Islam? Please answer my question to clear my concept about this issue.

Q: What is the Arabic name when a boy proposes to a woman called and engagement?

Q: Regarding intimacy between husband and wife, over time I have read in a few books and Q & A's to the effect that, permissibility being said, one should should still remember the hadith that '...Hayaa is the branch of Imaan...' Also I have read that taqwa demands that one should not be totally undressed and that at least one garment be kept on by each spouse. I would like to know what is Mufti saheb's view regarding this. Please advise as to what is better for one to do. Furthermore, I once read on UswatulMuslimah to the effect that the manner of intimacy has an impact on a child that is born of that union. 'Goodness begets goodness' was mentioned. If garments for the purpose of intimacy are worn, will this not have an impact on the piety, hayaa etc. of a child that could be born? Please provide a detail answer as this is bothering me for very long. Please make dua for the piety of my family and I.

Q: Should the dua "اللهم جنبنا الشيطان وجنب الشيطان ما رزقتنا" be read in the heart or with the tongue in the following situations?

1. The husband is lying under the blanket with underwear i.e. part of the aurah is not covered by clothes, only by the blanket?

2. The husband is lying under the blanket without any clothes at all?

3. The wife is lying below the blanket with underwear, but she has no hijab, leaving her hair uncovered outside the blanket

Also, should the following dua be read with the tongue or in the heart at the time of ejaculation: "اللهم لا تجعل للشيطان فيما رزقتنا نصيبا"? Should it be read by the husband and the wife or only by the husband?

Q: I am from India and want to ask a question regarding nikaah. There is a girl who accepted Islam and is following it secretly for almost five years without her parents knowledge. (She was Hindu and from a Hindu family). Now she want to get married with a Muslim boy but without anyone's notice and fly abroad with that guy. As we know in her situation she is a wali for herself as her complete family is Hindu. She is even worried to marry in front of any Imaam. She wants to marry first and then fly abroad. Her concern is that, can she marry that boy without a qazi.