Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Masturbation

Q: We are a relatively young couple and happily married with two children. One thing missing in our marriage is intimacy and sex. Its been like this for
the last 9 years. My wife has declared that she is no longer interested in this side of marriage and wants to be left alone. Sexual frustration and being faithful has been a huge battle and test so far and to keep this in check would occasional masturbation be allowed?

Masturbation

Q: I am a 15 year old Muslim boy. My question is that is masturbation also not allowed for teenagers who are not married. With all due respect I do not go against Quran and Hadith but this topic isn't mentioned in it specifically. I mean if masturbation stops us from zina and watching porn before marriage shouldn't it be allowed for the unmarried?

Hurmat-e-musaahara and shahwat

Q: Recently I have come across the following situation and I am very distressed. Please could you advice me further. My mother was waking me up for the morning prayer and she touched my hand, without any veil in between, and I had a feeling in my private part. However, this feeling was possibly due to fear of erection happening. Also, I had a feeling in my heart when she touched me. However, as it was straight from waking up, I couldn't think properly and my mind just let it be. In the end, there was no obvious erection that occurred. Does this constitute hurmat musahara. Also, what is the meaning of shahwat for this masala. I have read on two respected websites different definitions. One says the occurrence of an erection, whilst the other says an arousing feeling in the private part. Please help me, as this is distressing me a lot, along with the possible implications.