Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Marital intimacy

Q: Is pleasuring the private part via tongue, hand classed as zinna/fornication? Is it punishable by hadd? How can one hope for forgiveness for such a disgusting sin as apparently repentance for major sin is not always accepted.

Hurmat-e-musaaharah

Q: I have lot of waswasas regarding hurmat-e-musaharah. According to the hanafi madhab what does desire mean in the case of women? I have read somewhere that desire in the case of women means very strong inclination of the heart that it clouds one's thoughts.