Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Treating one's children equally

Q: I'm very sorry, but this is quite a long message. I was wondering if you could spend a moment reading this and make clear for me an issue that I have insha’Allah.  It has been troubling me for a long time and is causing me great distress.  I just feel I need to explain where I’m coming from with this and feel you would better be suited to give me an answer, based on a more detailed explanation. 

I believe I try to be a just person and feel people should be treated fairly, and I would like to know if I am doing right by my situation detailed below. 

I know this is quite long, but I would be very grateful if you could answer  me I just don't know where to go for this.

Watching pornography and masturbating

Q: I have a question about masturbation, and zina. I know both is haram, but what if a brother or a sister masturbates to pornography, and what if a brother or a sister talks to a female or a male on the phone, and masturbates, or watches a webcam and masturbates. I was wondering, is this considered zina? Or is this still masturbation (which is still haram)?

Baseless customs

Q:

  1. My question is that here in India during marriage or engagement the guests give money in the hand or in a envelope to the bride or groom and their parents, grand parents and it is thought bad about some one who does not give anything.
  2. Also before marriage when rishta (the relation ) is finalised then the relatives of both parties give some money to the bride and groom saying that this has to be given to see one another for the first time.

Husband unable to consummate the marriage

Q: I am a female married 3 months back and me and my husband love each other a lot Masha Allah. He is kind and supporting. We have not been able to consummate our marriage till today because of the condition called vaginismus, of which I came to know on the very first moment we tried to have intercourse. Please give me some wazeefa's and duas and amals that will help us overcome this condition of mine. I am in great distress. Please tell me a solution.

Matrimonial sites

Q: I want to ask whether registering on matrimonial sites allowed in Islam or not? I am looking for a girl to get married to so is it ok if I look for girls on these matrimonial websites. Please guide.