Nikaah & Marriage Issues

Q: My nikaah is to be next week Insha'Allah. I have requested multiple times to not have a function and have it the sunnah way. However my parents are not agreeing and when I try and explain I'm labelled as being disobedient to them, ungrateful and selfish. Both my in laws to be and my parents are saying that you have to compromise for society. This is however not the case, I only wanted to have it in a way that Allah and His Rasul (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) would be pleased.

Out of respect for my in laws and my parents I have now kept quiet. Please advise as to what is the right thing to do.

Q: The sons in a particular family insist that for the sake of keeping family unity, their wives should invite the entire family (their mother, siblings and siblings spouses and kids) for a meal. And that their mother and sister are entitled to stay a few days every once in a while at the son’s house. If the daughter in laws complain about the amount of work it takes to host a meal for so many people, the sons become very angry and fight with their wives until they agree to host.

There has already been so many divorces in this family. Who is right and who is wrong? The sons, their mother and sister for constantly imposing on the daughter in laws or the daughter in laws for not wanting to entertain guests?

Q: The Sunnah of waleemah takes place through the husband feeding, after the nikaah is consummated.

In all the nikaahs of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), the waleemah was always carried out by Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). None of the wives of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) nor their families contributed towards the waleemah of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) at the time of their nikaah.

Similarly, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) encouraged the men of Sahaabah to carry out the Sunnah of waleemah at the time of their nikaah. Hence, we understand that the Sunnah practice of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) in regard to waleemah is for the husband (boy’s party) to host the entire waleemah.

There is no mention made in the Hadith of a joint waleemah being found in the nikaahs of the Sahaabah (Radhiyallahu Anhum) and Taabi’een (Rahimahumullah). Hence, the practice of a joint waleemah is against the Mubaarak Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) and should therefore be omitted.

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

With regards to the above... Please advise on below

Assalamu Alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakatuhu

Maaf I wanted to ask if to do this to prevent/avoid the functions of the girls side to feed... it won't be possible then too?

Also it's so so common for the girls side to feed (what is called ths reception) but it's not part of sunnah. But if you feed before the nikaah like a tea, or something like that? Because the girls side don't have an option to call so many people in the walima.

Actually it just crossed my mind and I thought I'll ask. Not questioning or getting a leeway. It's just abit difficult especially now when these things have become so common and how to go about dealing with it.

Q: If the husband is poor and the wife is rich, the wife gets the nafaqa of average quality. Does this means it will be greater than that of what the husband's family is used togetting and less than that of the wife's family?

The problem is that if the husband is poor, how can he provide with greater than what his family is used to?

Q: While getting married to someone you need at least two witnesses one male and two females or two males and one female. What if someone gets married in secret without telling anyone and they make Allah their witness and say qabul?

I read somewhere that if a mature girl and boy says qabul with the intention of making her/him their spouses, they'll eventually become husband and wife in the eyes of Allah. Is it true?

One of my cousins secretly went into a relationship and she considers that guy as her husband. He also considers her as his wife. So with a pure heart are they married in the eyes of Allah?

Q: My husband did secret nikah. The bride has not informed anyone in her family. She appointed groom (my husband) as her wali. Is this nikah valid?

Q: As far as I understand, in a marriage, the wife is only entitled to nafaqah. This nafaqah comprises of two sets of clothes a year and some flour daily for her to make bread for herself. The wife is not entitled to anything else.

However, the wife has to serve the husband and do everything for him. He only gives her two sets of clothing yet she has to wash all the clothes in his wardrobe. He only gives her flour, yet she must prepare for him whatever he wants, and while he is eating good food, she must eat plain bread. She has to clean, dust, mop, do the laundry and take care of the children, but she is not entitled to anything. 

Does this not show that Islam has given much more to men, as they can enjoy everything while the wife must survive on the bare minimum?

Q: When a man sends a proposal for a woman, how fast should the nikaah be done?

Q: I live with my in laws, and though I have a separate portion, bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom, my husband does not allow me to use the separate entrance or exit of that house portion. He forced me to use the door outside that goes through his parent's portion of the house.

Does Islam allow me to have a separate entry and exit from the house portion?