Aqaaid

Is backbiting shirk?

Q: Does backbiting mean its shirk and after judgement we cannot go to paradise even after Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)'s intercession?

If I backbited and do not go to the person because of feeling shy, how can I tell this person? Can we do tauba so that Allah knows that we tried our best not to backbite? Can this be forgiven?.

Throwing food at the groom before the wedding

Q: When people in my family get married, they normally make a big thing with the groom. They splash him and throw food on him and make a big noise. This is before the nikaah. When he gets married then they trouble the couple and on the first night they peep and other things.

Would this be emulating kuffaar? I hate participating in this, but they force me to and get angry when I don’t participate and really give it to me. How should I combat this?